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>>Dee Dee 's Bibliotherapy Corner |
Welcome to Dee Dee's Bibliotherapy Corner! Each month Dee Dee responds to a question dealing with a different issue and offers bibliotherapy solutions. For newcomers, bibliotherapy is described at the end of this section.
Your question could be answered next month!
Email: deanne@selfesteemshop.com with DEE DEE'S BIBLIO CORNER in the subject line.
Q: My kids are a little too stressed out. I have a child in middle school and the other in elementary school and they're both driving themselves crazy all the time. They're perpetually worried about the smallest things, whether it's friends, classes, getting a part in a play, their sports teams, thinking a girl will never like them, and what college they'll go to in five or ten years. I mean sure, life is hard but they are kids and I just want them to realize that and relax a bit. What's a good way to do that?
A: Everybody worries. In fact, I have to do breathing exercises each time before getting on an escalator. Go figure. These days especially, I've been getting so many inquiries about dealing with worries of people in every age group. In addition to those inexplicable worries like mine, I don't know an adult that's not regularly consumed by their finances, relationships, or the well being of their kids. Just as kids seem to faithfully adopt their parents' political views with little understanding of why, so do worried parents, often unknowingly, pass along fears to kids.
Many grownups feel inclined to tell children, "You're just a kid, what do you have to worry about?" The answer: a lot. Aside from world events, on an everyday basis kids are dealing with anxiety: it's a new school year, there are bullies, social pressures, tests, and sporting tryouts. Everyone's physical development seems to be in a different stage, and kids are often asked to consider their college prospects with each decision they make.
Another suggestion passed along to anxiety-ridden children AND adults is "Just don't worry about it." I don't know about you but the more I try to avoid certain thoughts the more it seems they snake into my head. Instead of trying to squash fears, it's important for people to figure out the right strategies to minimize worries and the worries of those around them.
With such a breadth of helpful resources it's hard to narrow them down to those featured below. I've selected some of my favorite books, DVDs, and workbooks to deal with a variety of anxiety in both kids and adults, to help calm fears and reframe them as opportunities. Underneath each title, I have mentioned the particular way I like to use each one of these great resources.
For advice on additional resources for dealing with anxiety--or any problems for that matter--don't hesitate to call the Self Esteem Shop (800-251-8336) and speak with myself or one our knowledgeable staff members. Or drop into our store if you're in the neighborhood (32839 Woodward Avenue in Royal Oak, MI).
Also, if anxiety is getting in the way of the day-to-day living of you or someone you know, and/or interrupting your sleep patterns, it might be a good idea to seek professional help.
Freeing Your Child from Anxiety:
Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias
As a parent, you want to do your best but it's important to have the right strategies to help your child. This book is chock-full of tips and tools for understanding and dealing with anxiety. Tamar Chansky is a specialist in childhood anxiety specifically and while as a clinician I find this book to be highly useful, as a parent it seems invaluable. Its writing is geared especially towards everyday parents, written to help them better understand the way children's anxiety manifests and the right ways to talk to their kids about it. $14.00
Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook, 6th Edition
This is the workbook that hones in on YOU and YOUR stressors. And it's for adults and mature adolescents. What's great is that once you complete several questionnaires, scales, and checklists, the book immediately zeroes in on your unique causes of stress. The newest edition hones in even more specifically and provides activities and instructions that teach how to reduce stress for the specific reasons you are struggling. Clinicians have shared that this is truly a GREAT ADJUNCT TO THERAPY! Sending adult clients home with specific exercises, I like to think of as an extra that really helps them progress. $21.95
Relaxation Station for Kids (DVD)
This DVD is more calming than hot cocoa. I play this two-hour DVD in my waiting room as it seems to soothe everyone who watches its enchanting scenes of wildlife relaxing in tranquil nature. A soft woman's voice much more motherly than my own instructs simple relaxation exercises such as deep breathing. It's made to look as though the animals are doing the exercises too. On the kids version there also is a younger girl's voice complimenting kids along the way for doing well with the exercises. Produced by Academy Award winner and Michigan native Sue Marx, this video provides an innovative and extremely simple program to help children relax .$19.95
Soothe Yourself: Guided Relaxation DVD
for Teens & AdultsGuided Imagery and simple relaxation techniques provide daily stress reduction. This one hour DVD of amazing scenes of wildlife and calming nature filmed around the world contains much of the same footage as "Relaxation Station for Kids" (above) but is less lengthy and sans the extra kid's voice of complimentary narration. Blended with soft background music, it's also great for waiting rooms or just having on in the background of your living room. Or play it in a bedroom at night to help you fall asleep. I find that fifteen minutes of it can be the ideal medicine to slow down, relax and feel better. $19.95
What to do When You Worry Too Much:
A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety
I can't contain myself. This is my absolute favorite interactive book IN THE WORLD for worries. It just has such fun activities and ideas for kids (and parents too). I love the author's analogies. For example she uses the analogy of milk in a container. What would happen if the milk wasn't contained? She doesn't say, "be gone with it" but instead applies the containment metaphor to worries. There are just so many creative techniques including drawing and great opportunities for discussion to help diminish anxiety. While it is geared for kids 6 - 12, teens and grownups will also find its suggestions helpful. Can you tell I love this book? $15.95
Trouble Dolls
I used to send these to my kids at summer camp and send my clients home with them too. In a tiny box are six little little figures that I tell them are ancient angels that work through the night on your worries. Before going to bed you need only tell each tiny angel a different worry and stick them in the box under your pillow. But with six dolls you're limited to six worries per night. My kids wouldn't dare tell me they used these when they were at sleep-away camp but I once had a thirteen-year-old client who came back to my office and said, "Dee Dee,, I know it's crazy, but the purple one really worked!" $3.00
Ready... Set... R.E.L.A.X.
This book is a real gem. It's great for just about every setting: parents to use with their kids, teachers in classrooms, and clinicians to use with individuals or groups. Educators and clinicians will love this versatile resource which is so much fun because it has tons of what I like to call short "scripts," stories with lots of imagery and positive messages that children can listen to, read, or act out. And each one has themes that emphasize relaxation. Scripts for creativity, dealing with peer pressure, and overcoming anxiety are included. There are more than 60 "scripts" that help kids cope with an increasing stressful world. Each is followed by questions for discussions and activities. $23.95
Ready... Set... Release! - CD
Compliments the "Ready...Set...Relax" book or it can stand alone., "Ready...Set...Relax" author, Dr. Klein, narrates the first 17 scripts in the book over soft calming music. They emphasize progressive muscle relaxation and breathing exercises. $15.98
By Beverly Potter $15.95
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Dee Dee Ginns-Gruenberg (MA, LPC, RPT-S, BSN) has been counseling children and their families for over 20 years. She is the co-owner of SELF ESTEEM SHOP. Dee Dee is always happy to assist you in finding the
Dee Dee with two of her wonderful nieces
| right books for you and your clients in whatever situation. She has been practicing bibliotherapy since even before it was cool.
If you would like to ask Dee Dee a question, email: deanne@selfesteemshop.com
In the subject line write: Dee Dee's Bibliotherapy Corner
What Is Bibliotherapy?
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Simply put, Bibliotherapy is a counseling method using books to help children overcome challenges and ease the discussion of their problems. This therapeutic method can be used in therapy settings, at home, or in school.
Bibliotherapy is NOT a quick fix but reading about a character dealing with a similar issue helps children recognize their problems are not so unique. They observe how characters cope with situations and solve problems.
The character in the book is experiencing a range of emotions that provide the safe distance children may need if they're not ready to directly share his/her own thoughts and feelings on an issue that's bothering them.
Additionally, Bibliotherapy generates easy follow-up activities for the child who wants to "try on" the behavior demonstrated by the story's characters through role-playing, puppetry, retelling, art, etc. that facilitate healing. |
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Grant keeps bullying Lotty, and nothing is
working. Lotty tries to act tough, act funny, and ignore the problem,
but Grant continues to bully her. Finally, her friends all join
together to form the Bully Blockers Club, a group that looks out for
one another and prevents bullies from starting up with kids.
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